For What is There and What Isn't

For What is There and What Isn’t

Sometimes the mountain you climb

is the one you carry inside—

a weight, a sorrow, a hope,

a heaviness with each footfall.

I find myself on a path

soft with red pine needles

twisting along a narrow pond.

All is calm and still,

cattails swaying in the slight breeze,

winter’s grey giving way to green.

If someone told me that this cove

was the entrance to heaven

I would believe them.

The swans with their arched necks

swimming slowly as sentries

in front of the tall grass.

Like heaven, it is so quiet

until your ears adjust—

and then you hear the music—

a cardinal singing high and clear,

the red wing blackbird shrills,

the goldfinches flicker from branch

to branch to the surface of the water.

Sometimes the mountain you climb

carries you home.

Last week the Ramapos and the Catskills,

the Adirondacks and the Berkshires

bore me with such kindness and patience

guiding me home until they gently

set me down in the valley.

Mountains can give us sight:

upward, outward, inward—

and anyway,

they all hurt my heart.

My feet are tired and

the cove is long and deep.

Beyond the tall grass

is a tangle of trees and bramble

and I can’t see where it ends.

And it is hard to tell in this

afternoon light whether the cove

is the entrance to heaven

or heaven itself.

Whether the longing I carry in my heart

is for what is there,

or what isn’t.

© 2025 Gretchen Schmelzer, PhD