This past week I was reminded how little the world understands of healing. So many people are trying to forge their way forward from the pandemic –carrying so many burdens—up against so many obstacles. They are facing challenges that would have been hard anyway, but with the exhaustion of the last two years, there is a new level of overwhelm and frustration.

When Covid-19 first hit, I encouraged people to add the phrase, “…in a pandemic” to the end of every sentence: “I’m helping my kids with their schooling…..in a pandemic.” “I’m managing a virtual team….in a pandemic.” I wanted people to understand that the task they were trying to do was not as simple as it seemed because the context had changed. I wanted people to understand that they were doing something that they had never done before—so they could hold their challenges with compassion.

As the pandemic shifts into a more chronic and ongoing state, it seems we need another infusion of compassion. We need a way to hold our current context that has us understand the task of healing that is required of us.

This week I got the image in my head that recovery from the pandemic looks like everyone getting in their cars and trying to drive back home to ‘normal’ (whatever definition they have of that) but the roads have all been destroyed in the last two years: we are all driving on roads full of potholes and frost heaves. It’s hard to drive—and it’s hard on the car. People keep feeling like it should just be a simple drive from here to there. But it’s jarring and exhausting and it feels like because of the condition of the road, the ‘car’ is always on the verge of breaking down. The party line is that the pandemic is ‘over’ and things are ‘back-to-normal’ now. But that isn’t most people’s experience. That isn’t what it feels like.

Healing from trauma isn’t a simple here-to-there journey anyhow. Healing happens in cycles; it’s spiral. My method of healing from trauma—the Cycle of Healing Repeated Trauma-- is made up of five distinct phases—or areas. These five phases of the cycle of healing are: Preparation— or the area of getting ready, Unintegration—or the area of a controlled coming apart, Identification—or the area of sorting, naming and mapping, Integration—or the area of weaving the pieces back together, and Consolidation—or the area of solidifying and stabilizing. From an emotional, cognitive, spiritual, physical and relational perspective, each phase or area has its own focus and purpose, as well as its own set of needs to attend to.

The first stage of healing is often ignored. It is the Preparation phase and the goal of this stage is to strengthen all of your resources both internally and externally and build a relationship with your support network. In this stage you strengthen your self-awareness and emotional management skills. You work on your communication skills and relationship skills. You make sure that you have a safe place to live and meaningful work (whether paid or unpaid). This stage mirrors preparation for a safe high-altitude climb. A climber must be physically healthy and strong, must be knowledgeable about the climb and how to use the right equipment, acclimate to the altitude, and be part of a well-functioning team in order to manage a trek safely. It is not possible to skip the Preparation stage of a high altitude climb without risking failure or injury, and it isn’t possible to skip the Preparation stage in healing from trauma either.

But the problem is that this crisis of Covid has catapulted everyone into a feeling of falling apart—into what feels like the Unintegration phase –and everyone feels like they should be through the healing journey—when in fact, it hasn’t yet begun.

When a healing journey is started in a crisis—you don’t just start in the middle, you back up-- you don’t even start with preparation—you back WAY up to start with stabilization.

Stabilization is the work before the work. It is the work we need to do even before the Preparation phase. Stabilization acknowledges that there needs to be a pause. There needs to be some assessment: what will help me feel sturdy? What will help me feel solid? It acknowledges that there may be pieces missing. That you may need to put some things into place for a while.

Stabilization recognizes that we now need to stop and assess what was hurt. We need to assess what needs repair. We need to strengthen or build our routines and resources that will help us lean into our strengths and strengthen our relationships. We need to build the muscles we will bring into the preparation phase.

The tasks of stabilization are concrete tasks—they are the daily routines, rituals and reflections that can help you and your family feel more grounded. They are the meetings and conversations that can help your work teams feel more solid. They are the tasks and behaviors that help the world feel more predictable and help relationships feel connected and trustworthy. Unlike an x-ray of a broken bone that can be identified and set with a cast—your stabilization is an assessment only you can make. Below are some questions to support you in this work. And meanwhile I encourage you to add a new phrase to each statement you make, “….while I am (we are) healing from a pandemic.”

 Questions to Support the Work of Stabilization and Preparation:

 1.     Take time to reflect on your losses over the past two years. What needs the most attention in your life?

2.     What routines support me feeling more solid? Do I have routines that support my mental/emotional health, physical health, relational health, & spiritual health?

3.     What are my strengths? How can I lean into them more to support me at this time?

4.     Do I have routines to support my relationships and spend time with the people who are important to me?

5.     How will I know I feel sturdy?

6.     How do I know I need to ask for help?

© 2022 Gretchen L. Schmelzer, PhD

For more on the 5 Phase Cycle of Healing from Trauma read: Journey Through Trauma