Thanksgiving has always been first and foremost a harvest feast—for which we give thanks—but what if we made the act of gratitude and thanks the most figural part of the holiday? What if we created a new ritual of sending notes of gratitude and thanks. Not the kind you send out of politeness when you get a gift—though that gesture is lovely—but a note of thanks to people in your life who have helped you—have helped you become the person you are. They can be notes, or cards, or postcards, or emails. They can be long or short. They can be people you have known your whole life or people you have never met.

Take a moment first to think of a person or people about whom you would say that you wouldn’t be the person you are today without them. Think about how they impacted you. Think about the things that they did that were helpful to you. Think about how they made you feel. Think about the ways you have been able to be more of yourself or bring more of your gifts to bear on the world because of them.

Then think about the people who have inspired you. Have reminded you of your purpose, values, or faith. Have reminded you of love and courage and persistence. Think of the people whose small acts, mundane acts, generous acts made a difference in your life. Think of the writing, music, or art that has been a source of joy and energy. Think of the people in neighborhood, your town or your workplace who have made a day better for their presence in your life.

Make a list if you can—a gratitude list of people where you experienced help, support, inspiration, challenge, learning, growth or love. There’s no minimum requirement. No act of support or uplift that is too small or too large. No demand that your gratitude is new. And no demand that you’ve ever met in person. They can be people who are currently living—and they can be people who have since passed away. The only requirement for their presence on your gratitude list is that they made your life richer for being in it. And maybe they helped you make other’s lives richer too.

Abundance comes in many forms. Our current economy is designed to remind us daily, hourly, of what we don’t have, of what we need. It’s designed to make us want—to make us feel like we are missing something, or to feel hungry for something we don’t have. And this exercise—this practice of a gratitude list of who has helped me—in any way-- is a powerful reminder of how rich in resources we actually are. A reminder to feel the plenty in our lives. To feel abundance. To truly feel fortunate.

Now that you have your list—the practicality of how you want to act on it is entirely up to you—and should fit the way you like to communicate. You could write a note or a postcard and put it in the mail. You could send an email. You could call them on the phone or send a text. You could tweet or make a TikTok of gratitude. You could send a pile of them all at once this week while you are waiting for something to bake. Or you could decide to send one a day or one each week this year –weaving gratitude into your everyday life in a tangible way.

Imagine a world where notes of thanks were filling up inboxes and mailboxes. Where people felt their impact and worth.

You might be surprised how important you have been in my life….Thank you for your small kindness, it made a huge difference…… You probably don’t me, but you have made my days brighter…

But remember that above all gratitude is an act of giving not of perfection. Think small. Think simple. And embrace awkward if you need to. But above all, give your thanks.

© 2022 Gretchen L. Schmelzer, PhD